At the Thoughts & Theories blog on Fridays, questions are presented in hopes respondents will take the truth and chew it to pieces. Let’s see if my answers make you howl!

1. Why does garlic repel vampires?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a vampire who struggles with weight loss. When garlic fries were invented, vampires couldn’t stop eating them, using blood for ketchup—of course. As they noticed their waistlines growing and their self-esteem declining, they decided it’d be best to avoid the fries, as well as the garlic, altogether. 

2. What do you need to kill a werewolf?

Since the werewolf is a member of the dog family, a few squares of chocolate should be a lethal dose.

3. What is the purpose of a Jack-o-lantern?

The main purpose of a Jack-o-lantern is to highlight the laziest people in the neighborhood. Whomever on your block leaves their Jack-o-lantern on their front porch the longest wins the well-deserved ridicule and judgment from those in the neighborhood. 

4. What exactly is a ghoul?

Ghouls are goats that are cool.

5. Why can’t vampires enter a home unless invited?

Once vampires learned that their chance of being bitten by the family dog became a nonissue if they were invited in by the home owner, the Vampires Justice Union (VJO) ruled to make invitations mandatory for all their members. 

6. Why can’t vampires cross running water?

Vampires prefer walking water; everyone with a college degree knows this.

7. What does a chupacabra eat?

Chupacabras prefer to eat a Purina dry food blend of pig hearts, meal worm, and rice.

8. What is the name of the three-headed dog that guards the gates of the underworld?

The three-headed dog that guards the underworld’s gates is my distant cousin, Frankendevil. He grew an extra head and spikes on his tail after sneaking into a nuclear facility and being exposed to radioactive chemicals. 

9. Who are the Stygian Witches?

Stygian Witches are women who own too many cats.

10. What alcoholic beverage is thought to be the true origin of witches’ brew?

Since witches only make their brew at night, they used moonshine.

Prompted from Fibbing Friday at:

Prompted from Your Daily Word Prompt at:

Prompted from Fandango’s One Word Challenge at: